Monday, December 8, 2008
Why We Lost Prop 8 and How We Can Win Gay Civil Rights and Marriage Equality – A Countdown of Political New Year's Resolutions! #6: Words Have Power
Okay, I’ve given it a lot of thought. 52% of California Voters don’t want families like mine to have equal civil marriage rights. The big question is why. How could this happen? How could we raise so much money, have so many people who care, and still be outmaneuvered and out-voted?
There are Six major reasons we lost. And if we’re going to have success in this war for our civil rights, we need to learn these lessons. And we must learn them now.
So for us as individuals and as a community, over the next six days I offer these political resolutions for the New Year...
Reason Six: Words Have Power.
Fighting for “Same-Sex” Marriage already puts us at a disadvantage. The word “sex” creates a short-circuit in the minds of many straight people, and all they think about is how uncomfortable they are with the idea of gay men having anal sex. It triggers their latent paranoia about prison shower rape scenes, and a projected loss of power and masculinity.
We should fight for “Same-Gender” Marriage. Try saying those words out loud. “Same-Gender Marriage” includes the reality of our families being about love, and raising children, and commitment, and heating up leftovers, and driving carpool, and paying taxes, and taking the kids to Disneyland, and the million other moments that make our love the same kind of glue that holds our families together, as holds together heteroSEXual marriages. (Ha! See how your mind went right to what one-man-and-one-woman do in bed?!?)
New Years Resolution: Let’s not allow ourselves, or the media in covering our struggle, to buy into social and religious conservatives’ obsession with what we do in bed.
Let's choose our words more carefully and fight for SAME-GENDER MARRIAGE.