A Note To My Kid is a wonderful new blog. In it, parents, family and friends who love the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning and gender-non-conforming people in their lives write open letters to them.
Just reading the first one brought tears to my eyes, when Elaine, mother of Taylor (a gay drag performer) in Canada wrote:
What a path we have travelled since that night when you told me you were gay and I answered: "No you aren't you just think you are because you have been hanging out with those guys for too long". What I knew about homosexuality back then would have filled one line of an address book.
But I determined I would learn so I could convince you that you really were not gay and so I could change you.
As Dr. Phil would say how's that working? Well, you know and I know, that didn't work and I soon discovered that the person who had to change was not you but me.
And this one, from Claire in Arizona. She's the mother of Kevin, a young gay man:
I did not know my son was gay until his freshman year of college. I must admit to a feeling of loss when I first knew. Loss of a wedding to attend, loss of a daughter in law who may just love my antiques etc. But as time as progressed I have learned that I did not lose anything....I gained a son who was honest with me, and if things change... I may yet have a wedding to attend and maybe even his partner will like my antiques:-). I just had to re-learn.... and Kevin helped me with that. I am lucky. My son had little trouble accepting who he is and being so self-assured has helped others and myself accept it. I love him a great deal, as does his Father, and his entire extended family. He is very special man, and we are lucky to know him and have him in our lives. This world could use many more just like him!!
And this piece, "Things I Know" by a Seattle mother of Miles, who is transgender FTM:
I know this is a process of stages. Grief is the first, acceptance the middle, celebration is the last.And this one, a Scottish godmother's note to Chris, who is not accepted by his parents:
** I am now celebrating the wonderful joyful man that you have become. **
My darling now you must be who you were meant to be, embrace this love and be happy. Know when to cut people out of your life who are not good for you no matter how hard. You need to feel true love and that is on offer now, and if you ever need me my darling, I am on call 24 hrs a day.
I love you.
Notes from lesbian stepmothers to their straight daughters, mothers learning of their children's struggles and asserting that "God makes all of us and he doesn’t make mistakes." mothers learning about love from their queer children:
"You have taught me love isnt defined by others. Love is limitless. Just like you.
I love you."
Reading these notes is like a bath in unconditional love, and I'm thankful to have found it. So go lose yourself reading the notes at "A Note To My Kid." And maybe write a note to someone you love in your life.